


How to Be Brave

by MarzgaPerez



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon Convergence, Class Issues, Difficult Decisions, F/M, First Kiss, Flirting, Gen, Period-Typical Racism, Privilege, Protective Siblings, Secrets, Separations, Slow Build, Young Love, Young!CarWheeler, it’s kinda hard to write about life in the nineteenth century
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-03 04:02:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13333086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarzgaPerez/pseuds/MarzgaPerez
Summary: 16 year old Phillip Carlyle is the heir to his family’s fortune, but he is failing to live up to his father’s expectations.His life continues to veer off-course when he meets an intriguing young girl named Anne Wheeler.Maybe it’s for the best.





	1. Chapter 1

“Phillip Michael Carlyle, the third. Get the lead out of your shoes! You know Mr. Daniels does not tolerate tardiness, and you’ve got to get your grades up. Harvard doesn’t accept just anyone.”

Before Phillip could move one foot in front of the other, his father had grabbed his arm and pulled him several feet down the slick cobble-stone street. He eventually got his bearings and tried to match the pace his father was keeping. Phillip was not enthused about their destination by any stretch of the imagination. Going to see his math tutor was sheer torture.

But he did enjoy walking the city streets, taking in the sounds of progress, the whistles from the factories and the constant clopping of horseshoes from the horse-drawn carriages with very important men and women inside. There was almost something musical and rhythmic buzzing in the air that made Phillip quicken his step. He was so distracted, in fact, that he failed to see the young girl with a bundle of laundry coming towards him.

“Watch out!”

He collided with her in a flash, the sound of his father’s warning fading in the background. After a few seconds, Phillip realized what had happened and that he was sitting on top of someone.

“Are you alright?”

A pair of beautiful brown eyes stared back at him, and he recognized the shape of a young girl beneath him. She was wearing a heavy coat and a woolen scarf that was covering most of her face.

She mumbled back. “I will be once you kindly remove yourself from on top of me.”

He quickly raised himself up and extended his hand out to her. “I’m very sorry, miss.”

She lowered her scarf to respond, and Phillip was relieved to see a smile on her face.

“You’re forgiven.”

He was helping her up and starting to gather her things when his father began ranting and raving.

“Watch where you’re going! Why they allow this trash in _our_ part of the city is anyone’s guess.”

Phillip tried to calm his father. “There’s no need to cause a scene. It was my fault.”

“If we were in the South, she would be horse-whipped for such carelessness. Let’s get going.”

Phillip watched as his father pushed ahead in the crowd. “I’m afraid he’s not very kind when he’s in a hurry.”

He had never understood why his father had such disdain for people of color. And to take it out on this young girl who was just going about her business.

“I’m Phillip. Phillip Carlyle.”

“Well, Mr. Carlyle. Best not to cause any more trouble. He’s waiting for you.”

She nodded towards his father and then pulled the bundle of laundry to her side before starting back down the street.

“Wait. Please?”

She slowed her pace slightly and looked over her shoulder, the smile he had seen just moments before returning to her face.

“What’s your name?”

“My name’s Anne. Anne Wheeler.”

~~~~~~~~~~

His father had scolded him for speaking to the “colored girl.” _She had no right to even look at you. And you had no business taking her hand._

It didn’t make any sense. For as long as he could remember, Phillip was required to go to Church every Sunday with his parents and listen to the minister speak about how Christians should care for the outcasts. And how everyone should be kind to their fellow man.

Here his father was chastising him for helping another human being - someone he had knocked down. Someone who had shown kindness to him, in spite of his blunder. Someone he started to look for every day on his way to school or when he accompanied his mother to the market but particularly in the afternoons on the way to his tutor’s house. If he timed his movements just right, he knew that he would pass by her just a few blocks before arriving to Mr. Daniels’ house.

The next time he saw Anne after the incident, he decided to distract his father and pretend not to notice her. As soon as she was within view, Phillip had the urge to take that bundle of laundry and carry it for her, just so that he could spend a few moments by her side. But of course, he resisted.

And so it was not until the third time seeing Anne that Phillip felt comfortable making eye contact with her. Would she remember him? Would she even care?

Phillip hoped he could catch her gaze. His pulse quickened when he spotted her in the distance. She was wearing the same coat and a hat instead of a scarf, so that her soft black hair was framing her face. She was more beautiful than he remembered.

He couldn’t take his eyes off of her and nearly tripped over his own feet when she looked directly at him. At least he had the wherewithal to wink at her, and she put her hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. She then lowered her head immediately, seemingly to ensure that his father would not notice the exchange.

Phillip was over the moon. He had to know more about Anne. And he had to let her know she would be safe with him. So he’d have to find a way to speak to her without his father knowing.


	2. Chapter 2

“What happened to these towels?”

Anne pulled off her coat and scarf and hung them on the coat rack.

“Mrs. Krause, I’m sorry. I took a spill. But I looked them over - they’re still clean. I promise I’ll refold them.”

“Are you hurt?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Good. Be more careful next time.”

“Yes, ma’am. I really am sorry.”

“Fine, fine. Go see your brother. And finish cleaning up before the next class starts.”

Anne nodded and then dashed down the stairs to say a quick hello to W.D. He was concentrating on his task at hand - repairing a broken piece of equipment - but looked up when he heard her footsteps.

“Staying out of trouble?”

“Mostly.”

“Why are you walking funny?”

“I fell down...or rather, someone fell on top of me.”

“You okay?” A look of concern crossed over W.D.’s face.

“Yeah. Don’t worry. He was nice. I don’t think either of us was paying attention. His father was mad though.”

“Did you go the way you’re supposed to?”

“Um...well...not exactly.” Anne stepped back towards the stairs, anticipating a lecture from her brother.

“Anne, you gotta stay out of sight. Most white folks aren’t like the Krauses. You know better.”

“Yes, that’s true, but -“

“I know, I know. You’re 14 years old, so you’re practically grown. You’re starting to feel more independent, and that can be dangerous, Anne. I promised Daddy I’d look out for you, but I can’t be with you every minute. Don’t make me send you back home.”

“You can’t! Daddy wants us here.”

“Then do what you’re told. I mean it.”

Anne knew he was right. She was supposed to stay in the shadows. This was not always a friendly city, especially for people who stepped out of line or forgot their place. And young girls, brown girls - even though Mrs. Krause swore that Anne could pass if she wanted to - were the most vulnerable.

~~~~~~~~~~

Anne had tossed and turned that night. _Phillip_. He hadn’t let go of her hand right away, hadn’t recoiled in disgust at the color of her skin. He must have known she had no business being in that part of the city, yet he’d been kind.

Every time she closed her eyes, she could picture his bright blue eyes staring back at her. She needed to forget about him. Besides, what were the chances of ever getting to talk to him again? Even if she did, W.D. would tell the Krauses and have her sent home if he ever got wind of what Anne was up to.

But her curiosity got the better of her, and a few days later, Anne decided to take the same route after her usual errands in hopes of seeing Phillip again. With every step, her excitement grew and grew.

As she neared the spot where they’d collided a few days before, she spotted Phillip walking quietly next to his father. Pulling her arms tightly around the bundle of laundry, she tried to keep her eyes straight ahead. Was it her imagination, or was he looking in her direction?

As they got closer to one another, Phillip turned his attention to his father, and Anne prayed silently that her presence would go unnoticed by the senior Carlyle.

In an instant, Phillip had passed by, and Anne felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. What was she doing? Why did she care about this boy? Did he even notice her? Did he even care?

And yet, a few days later, something told her not to give up. Anne was not one to back down from a challenge. She was the one who had convinced her father to let the Krauses bring her and W.D. to the city to work for them. And technically, it wasn’t against the law for her to traverse this particular city street. Maybe she just might have to try and see Phillip again.

~~~~~~~~~~

By their third encounter, she knew. Phillip _did_ remember her - even with her hair down, which she thought she’d try instead of hiding behind her scarf. He’d winked at her.

Anne was practically skipping through the door and almost ran into Mrs. Krause.

“I see that the _fräuline_ is very happy today.”

“Yes, I suppose I am.”

Even W.D. was surprised. He hadn’t seen his sister quite as bubbly in a long time. “What gives, sis?”

“Oh...well...I-I made a new friend today. Esther. She was dropping off some clothes with the laundress. She’s a girl about my age and works for a family uptown. We didn’t speak for too long. I promise.”

W.D. seemed relatively pleased. He knew that Anne grew bored with her older brother as her only companion - a quiet one at that. But Anne immediately felt guilty about lying to him. She should have masked her excitement instead of flaunting it.

Mrs. Krause patted her on the shoulder. “Perhaps you will see her again and tell her about our studio? Suggest that she mention our classes to the family...if they have children.”

Anne nodded, her smile starting to fade. “Yes. Of course.” If she was going to continue to go out of her way to see Phillip, she may have to invent more stories, which made her realize how ridiculous and impossible the whole thing seemed.

But there she was again, a few days later, on that same city street, like clockwork. And there he was, walking alongside his father, as usual, but this time, he was staring right at her with a huge smile on his face. She was almost taken aback by his boldness. _He must be up to something._

Right before they passed one another, Phillip tapped his father on the arm and pointed upwards to a building across the street, and with his left hand, tossed a small folded-up piece of paper towards the bundle that Anne was carrying. It landed right on top, and although she was surprised, Anne continued walking as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.

She stopped a block before the studio and rested the bundle on a nearby bench. Her fingers fumbled as she nervously opened the note from Phillip, and her heart fluttered as she took in every word. Thank goodness Mrs. Krause had taught her how to read.

_Anne, I hope this note finds you well. I was wondering if you’d be free to meet me at the Bleeker Street market on Sunday afternoon? 2 o’clock at the South entrance? I’ll understand if you can’t be there, but please do try. Forgive me for not stopping and asking you formally. Phillip_

Sunday? Just a few days away. Yes. She would meet him. _Somehow_. Her heart felt like it was about to burst from her chest. Anne might have to tell another lie, but she’d find a way.


	3. Chapter 3

Phillip passed his father in the drawing room as he was thumbing through the newspaper. “Where are you going?”

“To find a quiet place to study. Mr. Daniels gave me an extra assignment.”

“Make sure you’re home before dark. And Phillip?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Whenever you walk out that door and into the world, remember you are representing the Carlyle name.”

“Yes, sir.”

Phillip gathered some pencils and his notebook and threw them in his bag. Before leaving, he glanced at his reflection in the hallway mirror. _I hope she can make it. And I hope I don’t stick out like a sore thumb._

Phillip knew his father would be suspicious if he didn’t wear his overcoat and top hat, but as soon as he was close to the market, he’d remove them to blend in better. Phillip wasn’t much of a planner, but all of this would be worth it if he could see Anne and talk with her. Get to know more about her.

He couldn’t put his finger on why, but there was something about her, something that he didn’t feel when he thought of the frilly girls from the high society parties he was expected to attend. His mother would parade various young women in front of him, and he’d even dance with a few of them, but the conversation was always mundane and vapid.

Anne had life in her eyes. And if Phillip was being honest with himself, he was more than ready to thumb his nose at the strict path that his father had laid out for, what felt like, his entire life. Maybe she was his chance to escape what had been a fairly droll existence.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Where are you going?”

“To run an errand for Mrs. Krause.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll come with you.”

Anne was counting on her brother making such an offer. Like most house laborers in the city, she and W.D. had Sunday afternoons off and usually went exploring.

“It’s actually more of a lady’s errand.”

“What do you mean?

“You know, for _lady_ items. I’ll be back in an hour or two. And then we can go somewhere together.”

“I still don’t know about you going alone.”

“That’s sweet of you to worry, but I run lots of errands by myself.”

Anne was trying to control the tone of her voice. She was feeling anxious and excited and guilty all at once, but she needed to do this.

Before her brother could protest again, Anne grabbed her satchel and headed up the stairs. She and W.D. stayed in makeshift rooms in the basement of the studio, and she hoped he wouldn’t try to follow her.

He called out. “I’ll be here waiting for you.”

Anne breathed a sigh of relief and stepped outside the studio, checking her reflection in the glass pane. She adjusted her hat and straightened her coat. Although she was wearing her nicest Church dress, it would probably stay hidden underneath her coat due to the chilly weather. At least she felt her prettiest and planned to dab on a bit of lipstick when she was closer to her destination.

Anne hadn’t been to the Bleeker Street market before, but she knew where it was. And she knew she had quite a walk ahead of her, so she went as fast as her feet could carry her.

~~~~~~~~~~

He’d bought her a bouquet of flowers but immediately regretted it. _What if she doesn’t show? What if she doesn’t like flowers? What if she doesn’t like me?_

Phillip was pacing back and forth nervously when he saw Anne approaching out of the corner of his eye. He wanted to run to her, but he held back.

She greeted him with a warm smile, her lips a glossy rose color, and he held the flowers out to her.

“Anne. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too. Thank you for the flowers. They’re lovely.”

“It’s the least I could do after knocking you down.”

“I’d almost forgotten.” Anne laughed and touched him lightly on the arm but quickly pulled her hand away. Maybe she was being too forward.

“Have you been here before?”

“No, but I’ve heard of this place. Only I can’t stay long. My brother will be expecting me home soon.”

“I understand. We can take a quick look around if you’d like.”

Anne nodded, and Phillip reached for her free hand. Was he being too forward? He hoped not. She let her fingertips linger on his palm as they made their way past the first couple of booths.

Phillip had learned of this market from Noreen, the head cook in his family’s kitchen. She always said you could find the best seafood in New York on Bleeker Street. Of course, his father refused to ever let Phillip accompany her.

_That’s where all the riff-raff of the city congregate. There’s poor white trash and immigrants mixing with the coloreds. Crime is rampant. They’d take the coat off your back. That handkerchief in your pocket is worth more than anything they’re selling down there._

Overhearing this, Noreen had taken Phillip aside one day and told him that she had relatives who worked in the market and not to believe everything his father had to say.

_They’re some of the finest people you’ll ever meet, Phillip. And I’m telling you this because I know you’re not like him._

Phillip watched Anne take in the scene around them. There were indeed people of all colors laughing together and carrying on. Many were selling their wares, and others were huddled around make-shift tables playing cards and passing around bottles of whiskey. No one seemed to bat an eye at the two of them together.

“How about something to drink?”

“Yes, thanks. That’d be nice.”

Phillip bought them two steaming cups of hot chocolate, and they found some crates to sit on.

“Sorry I didn’t invite you somewhere more fancy.”

“Ah, but it’s lively here. And we don’t stand out too much.”

“That’s true.”

“Well, maybe you do a little bit.” Anne motioned towards Phillip’s very fine overcoat and top hat.

He started to turn red. “Oh, I forgot to take them off. Do I look out of place?”

“No. Not really. It _is_ cold outside.”

Anne smiled at him reassuringly. She finished her hot chocolate, marveling at the fact that she had been trying to dress up, and he had wanted to dress down. What a world they lived in.

“You said you have a brother. Is he older?”

“Yes. We work for the Krauses. They teach tumbling classes and have a studio downtown. They cater to rich folks, but they’ve taught me and W.D. a thing or two.”

“W.D.?”

“That’s my brother’s name. William Douglas. He’s named after my father.”

“I am too. Named after my father. And my grandfather. Business men. Both of them.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, serious too. Stern. I’m sorry about my father - the way he treated you the other day.”

“Oh, that. I’ve heard worse. Guess he wouldn’t be too happy knowing you’re here with me.”

“Probably not.” Phillip shifted uncomfortably. “Bet you didn’t tell W.D. you were coming to meet me?”

“No, I didn’t. He wouldn’t approve.” An awkward silence grew between them for the first time.

Then a mischievous smile danced across Anne’s lips. “He wouldn’t trust your motives.”

“And what about you?” Phillip tried to hide a grin. “What do you think my motives are?”

“Hmmm...I’ve been thinking about it, and I figure you’ve fallen madly in love with me. From the moment you nearly smothered me to death, I’m all you can think about. Am I right?”

“You’re close.” Phillip met her playful gaze and reached over to take her hands. Neither of them moved for what seemed like an eternity.

As Phillip started to lean in closer, Anne suddenly felt as though all eyes were on them. She cleared her throat. “Well, the drink was delicious, and the company was even better, but I do have to go.”

Phillip sat up straight, as if a spell had been broken. “Already? Can I see you again?”

“Yes. I’d like that.”

“I’ll walk you home.”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“At least part of the way. I want to make sure you don’t run into any trouble.”

“Why, Mr. Carlyle...I think I’ve already run into some trouble.”

“Phillip. Call me Phillip.” He quickly picked up her hand and gently kissed her palm before she had a chance to worry if anyone else had seen the romantic gesture.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a drop of angst to this chapter but not too much...

Weeks. It would be weeks before they would be able to spend any real time together. Anne was worried that her brother might get suspicious if she started disappearing for a few hours too many Sunday afternoons in a row.

Phillip didn’t know if he could wait that long to see her. It wasn’t enough to exchange glances a couple of times a week as they’d pass on the street, going in their separate directions on the way to their separate lives. But what else could they do?

_I’ll write to you._

_Write to me?_

_Sure. We can pass notes to each other on our route._

_Don’t you think it’s kind of risky?_

_Maybe...but I can’t stop this thing we started._

_Me neither._

She thought he might kiss her...at least on the cheek. Phillip had walked with her until they were a few blocks away from the Krauses. She was certain he wanted to but was making an effort not to rush things. It was fine with Anne, having never been kissed before. As long as he didn’t wait too long...

Anne had thanked him again for the flowers and told him goodbye, hurrying home to find an ever impatient W.D. She gave the flowers to Mrs. Krause to brighten the studio.

Her brother figured she might be up to something, yet he let it slide for the time being. W.D. didn’t want his sister to perceive him as being too controlling. He’d taken care of her after their mother had died and helped raise her. Although Anne seemed tough and unbreakable to everyone else, he knew she had a sensitive soul and cared deeply for the people she let into her heart.

In the day or two that followed her Sunday excursion, W.D. grew especially curious when he found Anne scribbling notes feverishly and then tossing them into the wood stove.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, um...trying to write a, um...story. A short story.”

“Really? That’s an interesting way to spend your free time. How about doing some spotting for me? Mr. Krause has been too busy.”

“Alright.”

She’d finish her letter to Phillip in the morning. It was hard to know what to write, but she decided she would tell him about her family and her life growing up just outside of Chicago.

The afternoon for their first letter exchange rolled around, and Anne was anxious and excited at the same time. She had to admit that she enjoyed the secret nature of their relationship in spite of the circumstances that led to having to keep everything covert.

Fortunately, the streets seemed extra crowded that day, and since they both knew what was about to happen, it wasn’t difficult for Anne to pass her letter to Phillip.

As he took the envelope from her hand, she felt something that she couldn’t quite explain. More than anything, the thought of this handsome boy yearning to know more about her thrilled Anne to the core. Then it would be his turn.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next time she saw Phillip in the street, something was different. His father was no where in sight. Anne gave Phillip a puzzled look as he got closer to her, but he surprised her by changing directions and walking alongside her.

“May I carry that for you?”

Refusing to acknowledge his offer, she held on tightly to her bundle. 

“Anne?”

“No. Thank you. I’m fine.”

Phillip was confused by her reaction. “Well...can we take a quick walk?”

She didn’t reply but continued walking in step with him. Phillip led them down a side street. A few blocks later, they were in a less busy area, and he stopped in front of an abandoned building.

“Follow me?”

Anne obliged as they went around the building through any alleyway, which led to the back door of what appeared to be some kind of warehouse. Phillip pulled a key out of his pocket. “I found a quiet place for us. My father owns this building. There’s something I want you to see.”

He seemed very pleased with himself as he held open the door for Anne. She was not budging.

“Are you alright?”

“They’ll be expecting me at home.”

“Oh. I-I thought maybe we could talk for a few minutes. My tutor canceled our session today, and I wanted to see you.”

“Yes. It’s just...well, I wasn’t expecting this, and back there, in the street...what if someone had noticed you carrying my things or seen us interacting?”

“Oh.” Phillip realized what he thought was a romantic gesture may have thrown her off. He let the door close behind him.

“I just wanted to do something for you. I wanted you to know that I don’t care about what other people think.”

Anne’s expression softened. “That’s very kind of you. And brave. But when you walk down that street with all the other fine city folk, you don’t have to worry about being singled out or told you don’t belong. You won’t be punished for what they’ll deem our transgression. I will.”

A tear spilled down Anne’s cheek, and Phillip froze for a few seconds before handing her his handkerchief. He felt like a complete idiot.

“Anne. I’m sorry. I understand now. I wasn’t thinking. I’ll be more careful...next time.”

He patted her arm gently. “Will there be a...next time?”

Blotting away the stray tears and then returning his handkerchief, Anne nodded. “Of course. Thank you for hearing me.”

“Always. Now let’s get you home.”

“Wait...what did you want to show me?”

“It’s okay. Another time.”

“No. We should take advantage of this time...it won’t happen often...at least, not for awhile...”

Phillip nodded and slowly opened the door again, waiting for Anne to pass through. There was still just enough light coming in through the windows so they could make their way around, although the space was mostly empty.

Once they were both inside, Anne put down her bundle and pulled off her hat, smoothing down her hair. Phillip paused to admire her. “I think I’ve only ever seen you all covered up.”

Anne laughed. “Just wait for spring time. I might even take off my coat.”

Phillip chuckled and removed his hat. “This way.”

They walked up a set of rickety stairs, then through a dark hallway and to another door that opened onto the roof. A gust of wind nearly knocked them over. Phillip instinctively put his arms around Anne, and she relaxed into his embrace.

“Is this what you wanted to show me?” Her heart was pounding in her chest as he pulled her closer.

“Well...this...and that.” Phillip pointed towards the sky. Anne shielded her eyes, realizing that he was pointing towards the sun setting in the distance, illuminating the sky in oranges and purples. Although they weren’t very high up, they had the view all to themselves.

“One evening, after dark, we’ll have to come up here. Can you imagine the view? And the stars?”

“It’s beautiful now. Just like this.”

“Like you.” Phillip grazed Anne’s cheek tenderly with his fingertips and swiftly pulled her lips to meet his. Anne leaned into him, melting into him, reeling from the new sensation, hoping she was doing everything right. She ached for him and was already dreading the moment when their lips would part. But she wouldn’t be the first to let go.

It was Phillip who eventually pulled away, kissing her lightly on the forehead.

“I hope it was alright for me to do that. I couldn’t wait any longer.”

”I would have given you permission if you’d asked.”

”I think you were right, Anne Wheeler...”

“Always...but which time in particular?”

“About me...falling madly in love. I think I am.”

Anne leaned up to kiss him on the cheek, pressing her lips gently against his ear. “You’re not the only one.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Anne hurried back to the studio as the afternoon was fading into evening. Even the Krauses would be worried. She’d blame the laundress for her tardiness.

Anne was beyond excited to read the letter Phillip had given her before they parted ways. She reached inside her coat pocket once more to make sure it was still there.


	5. Chapter 5

_Dear Anne,_

_I have to warn you. I’m not much of a writer. I’m not that great with trigonometry either. History is pretty interesting. And if you need someone to dress in coattails and stand around at a social gathering looking bored, well, that I can do._

_Unless you were there with me...then I wouldn’t be bored._

_Thanks for your letter and for telling me about your family and what brought you here. Your mother sounds like an amazing person. I’m sorry she passed away when you were so young. Your father must miss you and W.D. Of course, he wants you to have more chances than you would back home._

_I’m sure I must sound like an ingrate when it comes to my parents. I think they love me, although sometimes I feel like they had me because that’s what was expected. I often wonder why they stopped with me. It’d be nice to have a brother or sister. Then I could share the burden of meeting my father’s expectations with someone else._

_Anyway, I don’t mean to ramble on. I know that I have certain advantages, and I appreciate how you don’t seem to fault me for failing to realize that sometimes._

_I’ve been looking to meet someone like you for a long time. I know it won’t always be easy to be together, but I’ll do everything I can so that you don’t get hurt._

_I wish we didn’t have to keep things a secret from our families. If we can help them see how much we mean to each other, maybe we can open their eyes to see the world differently._

_Well, I’ve just re-read what I wrote. Told you I’m no good at this, but I guess it is easier for me to put things in writing. Maybe you’ve helped me discover a hidden talent._

_So, that’s a start. Tell me what you want to know about me. Tell me more about you and your favorite things._

_I hope we get to talk in person again soon._

_Yours,  
Phillip_

~~~~~~~~~~

_Dear Phillip,_

_I’m realizing what a gift our rooftop sunset was. I’m feeling a little guilty for panicking on the street. I guess I should have known that you had a plan._

_I miss you. I know it sounds silly, but I want to be in your arms again, and it’s hard to be without you. I didn’t know I could feel this way. I’m happy and devastated all at once. W.D. thinks I’ve lost my mind._

_I don’t think he’s ever felt this_   _way about a girl before. Back home, he has a childhood friend named Cathy who he’ll probably marry one day. He talks about her sometimes. Maybe I’ll help him write her a letter since I’ve gotten so good at it._

_I guess I want to know more about what you do in your free time. What are your friends like? Are they kind too? Or more like your father?_ _What would they say if you told them about us?_

_So...my favorite things? I do love this city, at least, its constant motion. I’d love to go to a concert or a theater production one day._

_Mr. and Mrs. Krause think that W.D. and I might be able to perform as gymnasts professionally with a little more time and practice. Don’t know where or when, but there’s always hope._

_Maybe it will be warmer the next time we meet. Should we go back to the market or to our new hideaway? It doesn’t matter to me. I just want to be near you._

_Try not to miss me too much._

_Yours,  
Anne_

~~~~~~~~~~

The days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months. Anne and Phillip continued writing to one another regularly and meeting once or twice a month, sometimes for a brief walk through the market and sometimes for a never-long-enough rendezvous on the rooftop of his father’s warehouse.

The arrival of spring and then summer meant lighter gowns and brighter patterns. Mrs. Krause helped Anne stitch together a few new dresses. She was growing into a beautiful young woman, after all, and becoming much more conscientious about her appearance.

For her fifteenth birthday, Phillip packed a picnic and spread out a blanket for them on the rooftop. He presented Anne with a small gift wrapped box, and she squealed with delight when he gave it to her.

“You don’t even know what it is.”

Anne shook the box lightly. “Sure, I do. Jewelry. And I know I’m going to love it.”

“Go ahead and open it.”

“I want to wait until tomorrow...my actual birthday.”

“I see.” Phillip shifted over to Anne’s side. “You know there’s more to your gift...” He leaned in to kiss her, wrapping his arms around her, and she pulled him down with her on the blanket. Anne liked the weight of him on top of her, and she ran her fingers over the back of his neck and through his hair.

Her body was on fire, and she could feel that Phillip was becoming aroused. Anne knew they were crossing into dangerous territory, so she started to inch them back up to a seated position. Phillip understood, though he was reluctant to end their kiss.

“Did I go too far?”

“No, no. I hope I...well, I’m sure it’s difficult. I’m sure you’d like to...”

“There’s no rush, Anne. I think we should wait until we’re...well, for awhile. I don’t want you to think -“

“I don’t...think that. Anyway...thank you for the picnic...and my present. It’ll be time to celebrate your birthday soon.”

“About that. Anne...I need to tell you something. I was going to write to you about this, but I don’t want to wait. I’m taking a trip with my parents the week after next...before school starts back up again.”

“Oh?”

“We’re taking the train to Boston. My father wants me to tour Harvard.”

“That’s right. You’ll be going to college there.”

“Not necessarily. I want to see if I can stay in the city after I graduate. My father’s the one pushing for Harvard. Not me.”

Phillip was now wishing he hadn’t mentioned anything. He rubbed Anne’s shoulders and kissed her lightly, cradling her face between his fingers. “You know I want to be with you. I won’t let anything come between us.”

“I know, Phillip. I’m just missing you already.”

“I’ll write to you.”


	6. Chapter 6

W.D. felt bad about leaving Anne by herself, but the church choir was counting on him to do a solo.

“I’ll be fine. It’s probably just a summer cold.” Anne dabbed at her nose with a handkerchief.

“Why didn’t you say something before the Krauses left for Sunday School? Mrs. Krause would have fixed you her famous cold remedy.”

“I’m not dying, W.D. Just go. I’ll be asleep the whole time.”

Anne was lying through her teeth...again. She was anxious for W.D. to leave so she could signal Phillip to come inside. If he had been able to steal away, he’d be waiting near the front of the studio as she’d instructed him before he left on his trip.

It had been torture waiting for him to return to the city. She no longer looked forward to her afternoon errands, and everyone seemed to notice she no longer had a spring in her step.

Anne regretted telling Phillip not to send her any letters, but she knew that would have just elicited questions. At least she had the beautiful silver chain that he’d given her for her birthday. It came with a tiny charm in the shape of a dancer, which Anne figured was the closest form Phillip could find resembling a gymnast. She often clutched the charm as she went about her day, keeping it hidden under the collar of her dress.

Anne held the tiny dancer between her fingers, even now as she waited for W.D. to head up the stairs and out the front door of the studio. She took a deep breath and waited a few minutes before slowly tiptoeing upstairs and peeking through the curtains of the front door. Best she could tell, W.D. was long gone. But where was Phillip? Her eyes searched the areas in front of the studio and nearby. What if he wasn’t coming? Maybe his trip had been delayed? Or maybe he’d forgotten about her?

Anne was about to open the door and peek outside, when she felt a pair of hands on her shoulders. “Surprise!”

“Heavens!” She turned around and was absolutely shocked to see Phillip standing behind her. He was lucky she hadn’t clubbed him, but Anne was so overcome with joy that she didn’t care how much he’d startled her.

Anne jumped into his arms and kissed his mouth, his cheeks, his neck. He held her tightly, kissing her in return, and then gently helped her back to her feet. He stepped back just a few inches so that he could get a good look at her.

“Why, Miss Wheeler. You’re in your robe and receiving a gentleman caller?”

“A gentleman caller who snuck up on me. How did you get in here?”

“You told me to wait until W.D. left and that you’d let me in. He’s tall, your brother. After he rounded the corner, I went around and knocked on the back door. It was unlocked, so...”

“What if someone else had been here?”

“I’m sorry. I keep forgetting that you don’t like surprises.”

Anne wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. “I’ve missed you, so all is forgiven. And I love my necklace.”

“I hoped you would.”

“I want to hear about your trip, but quickly. We don’t have too long, and I have a surprise for you.”

“I wrote most everything down.” Phillip reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of letters.

“You did write!” She took the letters and then helped him out of his jacket.

“So this is where the magic happens?”

Anne nodded as she pulled a chair over for Phillip and gently pushed her fingers into his chest. “Sit down. We don’t have long.”

As Anne began unfastening the belt of her robe, Phillip gulped and started to get up. “Um, Anne...you don’t have to...”

“Don’t be silly. I want to show you some of my routines...on the balance beam...” Anne was now fully out of her robe, dressed in a black leotard and sheer black tights and was dusting her hands with a white powder.

Phillip was speechless, admiring the curves of her muscles and mesmerized by her grace as she began stretching and bending over backwards on the floor mat.

“How do you...”

“Lots of practice.”

Anne lifted herself onto the balance beam and proceeded to demonstrate a series of turns, flips, spins, and then managed a twist in the air as she dismounted, stretching her arms over her head.

Phillip stood up, applauding her and whistling. “That was amazing.”

She took a small bow. “Thank you.”

“I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“The sport is gaining popularity in Europe. Not here so much yet and definitely not with artists...like myself.”

Anne waved away a moment of sadness and picked up a towel to dab some sweat from her forehead. “Anyway...that’s some of what I do. I’m glad you liked it.”

“I loved it.” Phillip pulled her into his arms. “I can’t wait to see your name in lights one day: Anne Carlyle, I mean...I think it has a nice ring to it. Don’t you?”

Anne kissed him tenderly. “Hmmm. I kind of like Anne Wheeler as a stage name. And Anne Carlyle in real life.”

“I think we can make that work.” He sounded serious. ”We just need a little more time. I want to be out of my parents house first.”

“I don’t suppose we’ll have their blessing right away.”

“We’ll get it eventually...if they want grandchildren.”

Anne swatted his arm playfully. “Let’s take things one day at a time. What did you think of Harvard?”

“Ah, yes. Harvard. The atmosphere is stuffy, but the academics are top notch. I suppose it would be the right place for someone who was going to take over the family business one day.”

“That would be you...”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure what-“

At that moment, Phillip and Anne both turned towards the front door of the studio as they heard the sound of keys jangling in the lock.

“Your robe...and the letters. I’ll go out the back.”

Phillip gave Anne a quick peck on her cheek before grabbed his jacket and sprinted towards the back. She took her things and made a mad dash for the stairs.

Anne could hear W.D. humming and then stopping in the kitchen for a few minutes. She closed her eyes tightly and held her breath, hoping that Phillip had made a clean escape. She pretended to be asleep when W.D. passed by her room.


	7. Chapter 7

“How’s about we write a letter to Daddy?”

“That’s a good idea.”

Anne pushed the letter she was writing to Phillip under the pile of blank sheets of paper. “What should we say?”

“Okay. Let’s start with... _Dear Daddy, Anne and I are both doing well. The Krauses are taking good care of us.”_

“Okay...got it. What next?”

_“I’m mastering all kinds of stunts and tricks. Mr. Krause thinks I may have a future as a professional gymnast. Not in America yet but maybe over in Europe very soon.”_

“What does he mean by _soon_?”

“Well...I haven’t had a chance to tell you, but Mr. Krause already reached out to some of his contacts from back home. Could be any day now.”

“Wow! That could mean big things for you.”

“For us, Anne. You’d come too. We’d be an act. He has a friend who can train us to become acrobats. Mr. Krause says we have the basic skills down pat. And it would mean more money to send home.”

Anne got up from the table and started pacing around the room. “Yeah, I mean, I suppose it’s something to consider...”

“Well...hey, don’t get all nervous yet about leaving your precious city. Nothing may come of it. And if it does, this isn’t the only place in the world where you can go exploring. C’mon, let’s finish the letter home.”

“Um, just give me a minute. I’m feeling a little dizzy.”

“Must be your cold.”

“Oh...right. Must be.”

“Yet you were feeling well enough to practice this morning while I was at Church?”

Anne sat back down with a stunned look on her face. “What do you mean?”

“There was chalk everywhere...and some things were out of place.”

“Oh...I, um...fine, you caught me. There’s this technique I’ve been trying figure out...”

“I cleaned up everything. I just don’t care for you telling me stories, Anne. You’ve been so secretive lately. What’s going on?”

She wanted to tell him everything, but the time wasn’t right. Anne shrugged her shoulders.

“Nothing’s going on. I’ve just been feeling restless lately. Let’s finish this letter in the morning. I’m going to bed.”

~~~~~~~~~~

W.D. was being more over-protective than usual. He started asking Anne if he could go with her on her errands in the afternoon and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

He’d say he was worried about her because of increased theft in the area, or he’d suddenly want to visit a merchant who had a shop near the laundress. She couldn’t shake him, and she couldn’t walk the way she normally would, so almost a week had passed since she’d laid eyes on Phillip. This only made her anxiety higher, and one morning when she was practicing on the balance beam, she completely lost her focus and fell off, spraining her wrist.

Anne hadn’t been able to exchange any letters with Phillip during the week, and now she couldn’t use her hand to write him for at least two weeks. W.D. insisted that she rest all the time, and Anne was absolutely miserable, longing to see Phillip and knowing that he would be worried.

It was the beginning of the week, and Anne was plodding around the studio, tidying up best as she could with her one good hand when she heard the door open and a very familiar voice.

“Good day, ma’am. My name is Phillip Carlyle. I’m here to inquire about tumbling classes.”

Mrs. Krause was tickled to see a potential customer and scurried from behind the counter to shake his hand. “Certainly, dear boy. We have various offerings, although you’re a bit older than most of our students. Maybe private lessons?”

Anne stepped out of the shadows, trying to hide the smile that she had been saving for the next time she saw him. “May I get you something to drink, sir?”

Phillip turned to her with a look of relief but then concern when he saw Anne’s injury. “No thank you, miss. If you don’t mind my asking, what happened to your arm?”

“I, um, sprained my wrist and haven’t been able to get out much. My brother has been keeping a close watch on me lately.”

“I see.”

Mrs. Krause chimed in. “Anne is quite skilled, but she did take a small tumble and hurt herself. Fortunately, she fell on our very thick practice mat and didn’t sustain any major injuries. Safety is very important to us.”

“Of course. I hope you feel better, miss. And I hope you don’t mind me saying, but there’s a market on Bleeker Street where they sell all kinds of health products. Go on a Sunday afternoon and look for Hazel’s booth.”

“Thank you. I’ll try to go this coming Sunday. I’d like to get back to normal as soon as possible.”

“That’s very kind of you to offer her some advice. Anne, dear. Go get your brother and Mr. Krause. So...private lessons, Mr. Carlyle?”

“Oh, thank you, but don’t go to the trouble. I will take some fliers and share them with the families who live in my neighborhood.”

“Alright. And may I ask how you heard about us?”

Phillip turned towards Anne, tipping his hat towards her and then winking. “Word gets around.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Phillip was beyond relieved that nothing grave had happened to Anne, but the days until he’d see her again passed slowly. This was not the way he would have preferred things. Part of Phillip wanted to propose to Anne right away and start a life with her somewhere else, somewhere they could be together all the time without these complications. But a bigger part of him knew that wasn’t the answer.

School had started back, and after only a week into the school year, Mr. Daniels had released Phillip from his tutelage for making extensive progress.

Now Phillip was free to spend more time with Anne during the week if her brother would give her some space. Many of his classmates were involved in a college prep class after school, but Phillip wasn’t even sure if he was going to college.

When Sunday arrived, Phillip didn’t even bother with an explanation before he left his house, practically sprinting towards the market and oblivious to everything around him. Anne was waiting for him in front of the booth he had mentioned. He waved hello to Hazel, who did indeed sell various remedies and who they’d gotten to know over the past few months. Phillip hugged Anne gently, trying not to make contact with her sprained wrist. She gave him a weak smile, so he kissed her lightly on the cheek to which Hazel responded “tsk, tsk” and then busied herself with her wares to give them some privacy.

“Phillip. I can’t stay too long. WD is taking a nap, but he’ll be up soon.”

_“I have some news-“  
“I have some news-“_

“You go first...”

“No, you.”

Anne was suddenly quiet, so Phillip blurted his out. “I’m done with my tutoring, so I’m all yours in the afternoons.”

He was so happy with his news, that Anne wanted to cry, fearful she was about to break his heart.

“Anne, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, Phillip. I suppose I should be happy, but it’s just the worse timing...”

“What is it? Did something happen to your father? Or W.D.?

“No, they’re fine. It’s just, well...I found out that the Krauses wrote to some friends a few months ago. A letter arrived yesterday, and W.D. and I have been offered a chance to train...in Germany. There’s a boat leaving in two weeks, and I can’t bear the thought of...”

Anne began to sob, and Phillip tried to calm her, a wave of disbelief crashing over him. “Two weeks?”

“I don’t know what to do. It’s like my hands are tied.”

“Please don’t cry. We’ll figure something out.” Maybe it was from the shock of the news, but Phillip didn’t seem very confident.

Anne couldn’t stop her tears. “I’m so sorry. And I have to get back home. Can we try to meet again next Sunday. Here? I’ll rack my brains to try to figure something out.”

“Of course. I will too. Take my handkerchief. Dry your eyes and try not to worry. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Anne pressed her lips into his, the taste of her salty tears mixing in with their good-bye kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

“Move, W.D. Please? I have to take care of something.”

“Anne, you need to start packing and get your head straight.”

“I-I don’t even know if I want to go.”

W.D. was standing in front of the stairs with his arms crossed. When he realized how conflicted Anne was, he softened his tone. “Okay. So, tell me what’s going on.”

She shook her head. “I can’t. You wouldn’t understand.”

W.D. put his arms around her. “Anne. What’s his name? I know you’re seeing someone. That day you stayed home from Church and I cleaned up - there were shoe prints in the chalk dust. And there weren’t yours neither.”

“W.D. Just let me go. I promise I won’t be gone long. Please trust me.”

Anne lifted his arms from around her and proceeded up the stairs and then out the front door before he could stop her. On her way to the market, she checked back over her shoulder to make sure he wasn’t following her. _I need to see Phillip. I don’t know what to do._

She arrived first and took a seat at their usual spot. She waited and waited. But he never came.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you want me to talk with her? Maybe she’d open up a bit more to a female.”

“No. Thank you, Mrs. Krause. Let me try again.”

It was Tuesday, and Anne hadn’t eaten much, hadn’t really wanted to get out of bed. W.D. was handling her chores for the Krauses, but everyone was worried about her.

He knocked on her door softly, entering her room. She was still laying in her bed, staring at the wall.

“Tell me his name. I’ll find him. I’ll make him pay for hurting you.”

She didn’t respond.

“Anne, do you want me to call off the trip? We can go home and see Daddy. Just until you’re over this...this...heartbreak.”

She slowly turned around and looked into her brother in the eyes. “I don’t understand where he could be. Something must be wrong.”

“Tell me more about him.”

“No, there’s no point.”

“Did he hurt you, Anne? Or try to make you do something you didn’t want to? Did he promise you things?”

“No, no. Nothing like that.”

“So...do you want me to call off our trip?”

“That wouldn’t be fair to you. I just want to see him again. I have to see him before-“

Anne turned over and began weeping into her pillow. W.D. patted her gently on the back as he tried to remember one of the songs their father used to sing. He hummed the familiar tune for awhile until he was sure she was asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

Anne let her feet dangle just inches above the cold floor of her room. She could swing them back up and bury herself beneath her blanket, or she could set her feet down and pull the rest of her body out of bed. She somehow managed to do the latter.

W.D. was surprised to see her sitting at her desk when he arrived with a small tray of breakfast. “Good morning. Feeling better?”

“Hey, W.D. Please tell Mrs. Krause that I’ll help out with the morning classes. I just need to freshen up a bit.”

“I’ll tell her. Eat a little something, Anne. For me?”

She nodded at W.D., and about thirty minutes later, Anne emerged from downstairs, carrying the empty breakfast tray. She went to the kitchen to wash the plates and then joined Mrs. Krause at the front of the studio as she greeted the tiny pupils.

They all looked like miniature princesses with their hair wrapped neatly on top of their heads. Anne had grown fond of the girls over time. She envied their many advantages but never bore them any ill will. Most of the students, though from very wealthy families, were kind to her and W.D. The studio was one of the places she felt safe.

Anne caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She still looked rather pale and defeated, a side of herself she was not used to seeing. It was time to take matters into her own hands. She was going to find Phillip’s house later that day, however long it took and whoever she had to ask. W.D. could come with her if he wanted to, but he’d have to understand that seeing Phillip was important to her.

Except her efforts weren’t going to be necessary. Just as the afternoon class was wrapping, Phillip ventured inside the studio once again. Anne was in the middle of leading the students in some stretching exercises when she realized he was back. “Give me just a minute, girls. Keep stretching towards your toes.”

Mrs. Krause was there to greet him. “Why, Mr. Carlyle, is it? Good to see you again. Um...how can we help you?”

Anne’s heart was racing, and she was doing everything in her powers not to leap into his arms. As she neared the front of the studio, she could tell that Phillip wasn’t himself. And then she saw his face. Anne gasped, and he turned to look at her, best he could, with a black eye and a bruised lip.

“Phillip...”

Mrs. Krause raised an eyebrow.

“If I could just have a quick word with Miss Wheeler?”

“What is the meaning of this? Anne?”

Anne smiled bravely towards Phillip, her lips quivering with worry over what had happened to him. She took Mrs. Krause by the arm and spoke to her softly. “Please. Can you please finish up with the class? I need to speak with Phillip, er, Mr. Carlyle.”

“I don’t want any trouble, Anne. This is highly irregular.”

“Please...he’s my-my friend. I just want to make sure he’s alright.”

Mrs. Krause nodded reluctantly towards the back of the studio. “Outside. Back door. You have five minutes. The parents will be arriving soon to pick up their children.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”

Phillip had his hat in hand and was turning it nervously as Anne took his hand. “C’mon. This way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters made me so sad, but that’s where the story went.


	9. Chapter 9

After they were outside the building, Anne wrapped her arms tightly around Phillip. “What happened? Who did this to you?”

She couldn’t hold back her tears. Anne knew he didn’t like to see her cry, but she was overcome with emotion - happy to see him and yet frightened by the look of despair in his eyes. He’d never looked so defeated before.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“For what I’m about to say...”

It was his tone. That was different too. Everything about this was all wrong. Anne felt dizzy all of a sudden and started to lose her balance.

Phillip realized what was happening and tried to steady her. “Anne, take a deep breath. Please, just listen. I’ll try to make this quick because...it’s...it’s killing me.”

Phillip seemed like he was about to break down, but he pulled himself together long enough to explain what had happened.

“We have a new housekeeper, and she found the letters you’ve written to me. I’m so stupid for not hiding them somewhere else. And rather than leaving them be, this, this meddling woman gave them to my father, I suppose, to get in his good graces. He must have poured over them because when he confronted me, he knew everything. He made all kinds of ridiculous threats about ruining things for the Krauses and having you sent away. He was acting like a lunatic, telling me to break things off with you, or he’d send me to the military. And my mother just stood there, letting him have a go at me. I-I pushed him, Anne, and I said some things. He hit me in my face. Twice. Like I was nothing to him.”

Anne was in shock from everything she was hearing. She felt like she was watching a scene unfold between two characters in a play. She was horrified for the both of them.

Phillip could see that she was shutting down. He couldn’t bear to hurt her any more, so he said what he came to say.

“Go to Germany, Anne. I don’t think my father could do anything to you or the Krauses, but I don’t want to chance it. I told him I’ll go to Harvard or whatever he wants if he’d let me see you one last time. I don’t want you throwing your future away on a lost cause.”

“Phillip, we can go somewhere...”

“If we run now, there’ll be nothing for us.”

“I know we can-“

“They won’t let us, Anne. They won’t let us.”

There. He’d made the decision for her. He wouldn’t or couldn’t fight any longer, so there was no point in trying to convince him otherwise. She couldn’t be angry with him, disappointed, yes, and heart broken. But he was hurting. He was destroyed. And he wasn’t used to not getting his way.

Anne took his hands into her own and then kissed him gently on his lips, careful to not press too hard.

“I suppose...it’s not meant to be...right now. The way it could be...if only...”

“This is all my fault. I was careless. I thought I could make my own decisions, love who I want to love-“

“You can, Phillip. We can. No one can take that away from us.”

“I better go before...I’m sorry you have to see me this way.”

“I’m sorry your father thought he had the right to put his hands on you. He’s a coward for doing it. But Phillip, you’re still the most handsome boy I ever laid eyes on...”

“Anne...” He lifted her chin and drew her lips to his, wincing slightly from the pain but kissing her in the same loving way he always did. The sound of the door opening brought them back to reality, and Anne gasped when she saw her brother standing there with his fists clenched at his sides.

“This him?”

“Yes, W.D. This is Phillip.”

“I was hoping to meet you under different circumstances.” Phillip put his hand out, but W.D. wasn’t interested.

“Anne, you’re needed inside. And because your...friend...isn’t looking too well, I’m gonna give him the chance to leave without incident.”

“Just give us another minute W.D.”

“Now.”

Anne looked back and forth between them. She shook her head but then slowly backed away from Phillip to clear his path, and he started down the back alleyway, looking over his shoulder, trying not to lose eye contact with her.

She started to run to him, but a strong arm was suddenly wrapped around her waist.

“Phillip!” She called out. “The boat leaves on Sunday at noon.”

He nodded as he reached the outside street and turned to leave.

It was a good thing W.D. did have his arm around Anne because he managed to catch her when she fainted.


	10. Chapter 10

On the eve of their departure, Anne was mostly feeling numb. She had kept to herself for a few days, trying to come to terms with what had happened. And then she’d opened up a little bit to her brother. Being able to talk with W.D. about Phillip lifted part of a burden she didn’t realize she’d been carrying.

“Who did that to him?”

“His father. I swear, if I ever see that sorry excuse for a...”

“What are you gonna do? Nothing. That’s just a bunch of big talk. You’re better off without all that.”

But Anne didn’t think so. She looked pained, tormented even, like she wanted to cry, but didn’t have the strength.

“You gonna be alright?”

“No...not for a long time.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you finish your good-byes.”

“It’s okay. He’ll be there on Sunday.”

“Won’t that just make things harder?”

“I don’t see why. I love him. Nothing will change that. Not his father’s bigotry nor yours nor an ocean that is going to separate us by thousands of miles.”

“Hey, don’t lump me in with the bigots. If you say he’s good people...I just don’t appreciate the lying and scheming. And as your big brother, I would have advised you against a relationship that was gonna expose you to even more prejudice-“

“I know, W.D. It just doesn’t make any sense. All this progress in the world, except when it comes to how people treat each another. Daddy still has kin folk down South who are _owned_ by other people. Can you imagine? You and I have to make something of ourselves. For them.”

“We will. And maybe one day, things will be different.”

“Maybe even in our lifetime.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The sky was gray and cloudy, just as Anne would have expected on such a day. W.D. was trying to contain his excitement about their trip out of respect for Anne’s conflicted feelings. Mrs. Krause had packed them some food and other provisions, and they’d all said their good-byes back at the studio.

It was almost time to board the ship, and there was no sign of Phillip. Anne told W.D. to go ahead of her, but he wasn’t going to leave her by herself, partially fearful that she might decide to stay.

The captain blew the whistle twice and gave a five minute warning. Anne reluctantly picked up her bags and started to follow W.D. onto the boat. When she turned around once more, she caught a glimpse of Phillip running towards the doc.

She was grateful he had made it, defying the promise he’d made to his father. Part of Anne had secretly hoped that he would have packed a bag and decided to come along with her for the adventure. She had been avoiding the reality of what it would feel like to actually leave him. W.D. was hovering nearby, so she waved him away.

Phillip was out of breath by the time he caught up to her. He threw his arms around her. “Anne! I’m sorry I’m late. I’m sorry for-“

“You don’t have to apologize.” Anne tried her best to not to cry, reaching into her coat pocket and pulling out an envelope. “Open it later. It has our address inside.”

“I’ll write to you. I promise.”

Anne leaned in to kiss him, and she didn’t bother looking around to see if anyone was staring at them. Phillip pulled her close, knowing it would be a long time until he was with her again.

_“I want to stay with you.”  
“I want to come with you.”_

_“You can’t.”  
“You can’t.”_

_“I know.”  
“I know.”_

“I love you, Anne. This is just a temporary separation.”

“We’ll just have to run into each other again one day.” They both smiled briefly, remembering how they’d first met.

“You’re going to be a great success, Anne.”

“So are you. Harvard will be lucky to have you.”

“I’ll make you proud.” He stroked her cheek gently, letting his fingers trail down her neck, pausing on the silver chain he’d given her with the tiny dancer on it. “Don’t forget me.”

“I won’t. I love you, Phillip.”

The captain sounded the whistle again, and W.D. called out. “It’s time, Anne!”

She pressed her forehead against Phillip’s. “There’s never enough time, is there?”

As she started to walk away, Anne could feel her heart breaking and a part of her withering inside. She tried to focus on the warmth of his touch and those blue eyes that were now full of tears, but nevertheless, they were full of love, too. And that would have to be enough until fate made other plans for them.


	11. Chapter 11

Phillip wrote to Anne dutifully every two weeks. He felt like he didn’t have anything interesting to say, but he’d write about his studies, his classmates and their various pursuits, and how his father seemed to be carrying around some guilt for striking him but not enough to admit he was wrong. He’d write about how much fun she must be having and how hard she must be working and how he wished he could be there with her.

The fall passed more quickly than he would have expected and then came Christmas. Phillip found himself more down than usual, wishing that Anne was nearby and that they could be together for the holidays. He hadn’t been able to experience that with her, but he had always loved Christmas in the city.

It was sometime in March that all of his letters to Anne came back to him as undeliverable. He was lucky to have intercepted them without his father finding out. Phillip went by the Krauses for the first time in a long time to see if there had been any word from Anne.

He found the studio locked with a sign on the door that said “Closed Indefinitely.” From the looks of things, the Krauses had relocated, maybe returned to Chicago, and Phillip immediately regretted not trying harder to get more information about how Anne was doing and when she might be back.

Summer came, and Phillip would stroll through the Bleeker Street market or visit the harbor, watching the various travelers arrive from overseas. Many were bright-eyed and hopeful, embracing loved ones and happy to be in New York, but never did he lay eyes on the one person he was hoping to see.

Harvard was a bust. After two semesters, Phillip wasn’t maintaining the grade point average required and was politely asked to leave. Maybe the work was too challenging or maybe his heart wasn’t in it. In any case, Phillip found himself full of regret for not standing up to his father, for not getting on that boat with Anne, for not choosing his own path. He felt like a complete failure.

After returning to Manhattan, Phillip started spending time with other underachievers whose wealthy parents were footing their bills. His father insisted that he at least intern for the family business during the week, but his weekends were his own. Phillip would take in plays and concerts with his new-found acquaintances and then stay out drinking all night. He regretted never taking Anne to the theater, or at least offering to take her. Whiskey helped ease his regret.

Phillip found himself craving physical contact, particularly when he was inebriated. Rather than entangle himself with anyone in his social circle, he got involved with some of the traveling actresses he would meet from the shows. But no one ever came close to filling the space in his heart like Anne.

He became friends with some of the theater investors and backers and took an interest in recruiting talent and promoting plays and events for the high society crowd. With his theater connections, Phillip quickly developed a reputation as one of the cultured, wealthy elite. _Quite a catch_ , as his mother would say, but he refused to commit to anyone long-term. There was only one girl he had ever wanted to marry, and she was impossible to find at the moment.


	12. Chapter 12

Phillip was enjoying a quiet drink one afternoon when a man who called himself P.T. Barnum approached him about investing in his newly formed circus. Phillip was drunk enough to be slightly intrigued.

“I’ve heard about your museum. Didn’t know you’d turned it into a show. What sort of performers do you have? Are they all freaks?”

“We prefer the word _curiosities_. You really have to see it for yourself. Come by tonight, and I’ll leave a ticket for you.”

“I’ll think about it. Doesn’t sound like my cup of tea.”

“Why, Mr. Carlyle, we have something that is sure to delight everyone.”

Something in Barnum’s tone made Phillip sit up straight in his seat. “Mr. Barnum...do you have any gymnasts or acrobats in your circus?”

“We just might. I guess you’ll find out later.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Phillip couldn’t take his eyes off of the colorful posters hanging from the front of the building, one of which featured a pair of trapeze artists. It was them. It had to be.

He stopped at a flower stand close to the circus entrance and bought the biggest bouquet he could find, just in case. A nervous lump had formed in his throat, and Phillip could barely get his name out at the ticket window.

“Ticket...for Phillip...Carlyle.”

“Ah, yes. Mr. Carlyle, sir. I have a ticket here that Mr. Barnum put aside for you. A box seat. He’ll meet you up there after the show gets started.”

“Okay...thank you.” Phillip tipped his hat to the mustached fellow and made his way inside with the rest of the circus-goers. Before he could really think things through, Phillip found himself pushing through the crowd until he was in front of what appeared to be the dressing room door. He took a deep breath and knocked as hard as he could. Someone must have heard him above the noise as the door opened just a crack.

“What is it?” The voice was of a woman with a somewhat gruff tone. He could make out her eyes but not the rest of her face.

“Oh. Um, I’m looking for Anne. Anne Wheeler.”

“Look, fella. We’re about to start the show. You’ll have to wait.”

“But if you could tell her-“

The woman closed the door on him, just as the lights were dimming and the music was rising. Phillip stumbled through the darkness, eventually finding his way to the stairs. He climbed them as fast as he could and found his seat, placing the flowers down in the chair next to him.

He had a terrific view, and the stage was now brightly lit with a cast of characters performing a dance routine with Barnum in the middle. A very small man dressed like a general was riding a horse around the stage.

There was a drumroll, and a spotlight was being flashed all over the stage and then up towards the ceiling. Phillip held in his breath when he realized someone on a trapeze was coming directly towards him.

She looked like an elegant butterfly, winged in purple sequence with a swirl of bright pink hair. When their eyes met, Phillip thought he was dreaming. It was her. _Anne_. She was just an arms length away from him. After all this time.

He didn’t know if she had recognized him, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. His mind reeled, and memories of their time together came flashing back. Phillip felt like a nervous school boy again, walking alongside his father and hoping for a smile from the beautiful girl with the bundle of laundry.

Barnum had joined him in the box and was trying to talk him into making an investment in the show, but Phillip wasn’t paying him any attention, mesmerized by Anne. Barnum took that as a good sign.

“Very well then. I must get back to it. Find me afterwards. We can grab a drink.”

“Sure, sure. Fine.”

Anne was part of the final routine, along with W.D., who was quite talented in his own right. Once the show had ended, Phillip waited anxiously for the crowd to disperse and went immediately to try the performers door again.

“Oh. You’re back.” It was the same woman from before, but she opened the door all the way this time. He recognized her as the bearded lady from the show.

“You did a nice job out there.”

“Nice, huh? So you decided to bring me flowers?”

“Oh, um...no. These are for Anne. If she’ll see me.” Phillip strained his neck around the woman to see if he could catch a glimpse of her.

“Well, I’m Lettie. And you are?”

“Phillip. Phillip Carlyle.”

Lettie made a strange hollering sound and slammed her palm on the door frame. “Well, of course, you are. I told her. I told her you’d find your way here one of these days.”

“Told who...what?”

“Anne! There’s someone here to see you!”

Lettie held up her hand. “Wait here.” She went further inside and shooed away everyone who stopped to gawk at Anne’s visitor.

Phillip felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. He tapped his foot nervously on the floor and could barely breathe when he saw Anne walking towards him.

Lettie was behind her, and Anne appeared to be moving slowly. She was tugging nervously at her braid, having removed her pink wig. A silky robe was draped over her shoulders, and she was still wearing her show costume.

“Go on, now.” Lettie practically shoved Anne out the door. “I’ll keep W.D. occupied while you two chat.” And then she closed the door with a wink in his direction.

He spoke first. “It’s you. It’s really you.”

Anne hadn’t taken her eyes off of him. She appeared to be speechless. He was finding himself at a loss for words and held out the flowers to her. She accepted them and pulled the flowers towards her, taking a moment to breathe in their scent.

“Thank you, Phillip.” Anne put the flowers down next to her and slowly took his hands. Hers were trembling.

She gestured at the simple cuff links on his coat sleeves. ”You still have them?”

Anne had given him the cuff links the day she left for Germany - in the envelope with her address and a brief note. The cuff links were her father’s, and Phillip had always taken good care of them. It was really the only thing he had left of her.

“And you’re here...to see me. Does this mean...”

“Of course it does.”

Anne threw her arms around his neck, and he lifted her up, their lips meeting tenderly. It was a kiss full of joy and sorrow, fulfillment and longing, excitement and release. They were both crying and laughing and trying to absorb as much of the other as they possibly could.

“Ahem...I take it you two have met before?” Barnum had stumbled upon them, looking rather pleased with himself. 

Anne and Phillip barely heard him, and in any event, nothing and no one could part them in this moment.

“Well, alrighty then. I can see that now’s not the right time for a drink. Maybe tomorrow, Mr. Carlyle.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne’s POV while she and Phillip were apart...

Anne tossed and turned, still reeling from her reunion with Phillip and knowing that he was just a room away from her. She’d offered him the sofa in their apartment for the night. It was late, after all. W.D. was only going to allow him to come as far as the lobby, but Anne insisted and got her way. She hated the idea of being apart from Phillip for too long, especially now that she knew he still loved her and wanted to be with her.

That morning, as she was getting dressed, Anne paused to look at the daguerreotype she’d brought back from Germany. She and W.D. had spent their first paycheck getting it made. They both looked so serious, though she could remember how the photographer was yelling something at them in German, and they couldn’t help but laugh since they had no idea what he was saying.

Looking back, it felt like their time abroad had flown by. Anne was, of course, extremely heartsick for Phillip during their long boat ride over to Germany and in the weeks following their arrival. But soon after they began training, she was much too exhausted to think about anything but the next day ahead of her.

A few weeks after their training started, the company began booking tours all over Germany. She and W.D. were invited to participate and were paid a decent stipend. Although they were considered oddities in some circles because of their skin color or for simply being “the Americans,” they really didn’t have to worry about where they went or with whom. It was very freeing.

She and W.D. wrote letters home to their father and the Krauses, right up until they closed their studio in Manhattan to do some traveling. Over time, Anne found herself missing New York less and less, although there were quiet moments when she would think about Phillip and re-read the letters he’d written to her from before.

It was probably naïve on her part to think that they could have stayed in touch. She’d finally given up on the impractical notion that he’d leave everything behind and come to Germany to be with her. Phillip was probably enjoying his time away at college and maybe he’d met a proper girl to bring home to his parents.

After nearly three years of performing professionally to many adoring audiences, Anne and W.D. were faced with a decision - to stay overseas and sign a new touring contract or to go home to America and try to find similar work or even open up a studio of their own.

On paper, it seemed like it was time to go. They had family they hadn’t seen in years and some pretty decent savings to tide them over while they looked for work or started a business. But, the reality was that they would be returning to a place where many people still saw them as inferiors.

Anne and W.D. agreed that they would go back home for an extended visit and then make a decision about their future. And he wasn’t thrilled about it, but W.D. promised they could spend some time in New York. Anne very much wanted to pay Phillip a visit. She needed to know that he was alright. Beyond that, she didn’t dare let her imagination run wild with possibilities of what could be.

She and W.D. had an amazing few weeks back home in Chicago with their father and friends and family, recounting all of their adventures. When talk about marriage for either of them came up, they both said that they were happy traveling and performing and weren’t interested in being tied down.

But W.D. shocked everyone one evening after dinner by proposing to his childhood sweetheart, Cathy. Anne was happy for him but completely caught off guard.

“What does this mean for our act?”

“Doesn’t mean anything. Cathy will be here for a little while, planning the wedding, and then she’ll come with us, wherever we land next.”

“I feel like you could have shared the plan with me beforehand.”

“I only told Daddy when I asked him for Mama’s ring and Cathy’s father when I asked him for permission. Remember, we don’t always tell each other everything.”

Anne ignored his comment. “Suppose she wants to start a family right away? How is that gonna work with our schedule?”

“Now, wait a minute. In a few days, we’ll be headed for New York to seek out your one true love. Suppose he proposes to you? Or wants to start a family. What will you say?”

Hearing those buried dreams brought back to the surface, Anne was quiet for a moment. “Oh. Well, I...I don’t know.”

She hadn’t let herself think about things unfolding that way. Anne wasn’t fifteen anymore, and she figured that Phillip would be with someone else by now and happy with his life the way it was. And besides, there was no guarantee she would be able to find him.


	14. Chapter 14

Once they were back in Manhattan, Anne figured she had to be savvy with how she asked around about Phillip Carlyle. She couldn’t just go up to any high class dandy walking along the city streets and ask where she could find him. The last thing she wanted was to wind up face to face with the wrong Mr. Carlyle.

So, she went to visit places that she was familiar with from her time with the Krauses - the laundress and the butcher and the grocer. She would make small talk and then share her need to pick up some work, perhaps cleaning for a wealthy family. She hoped someone might mention the Carlyles or give her an opening to ask, but that didn’t happen.

After a few days of searching and no progress, Anne decided to take a break and go to the theater. After all, she had a suitable gown and the money to afford a ticket, so they couldn’t turn her away. W.D. wasn’t very interested in going, but he was curious about whether performers like himself and Anne were now popular in the city. After he walked Anne to the theater, he went downtown to see what he could find out.

It was an exciting night for Anne, purchasing her very first theater ticket. Her seat was in the highest part of the balcony, but she didn’t mind. As she settled in her chair and was reading through the play bill, Anne came across his name.

 _Phillip Carlyle, III_ , was listed as one of the producers of the show. Anne froze. _He could be in the theater right this very minute._ She anxiously scanned the box seats and the rest of the audience but didn’t see him. At least she knew he was somewhere in the city.

Anne barely paid attention to the production. During intermission, she went downstairs to continue looking around for Phillip but no luck. It was after the show had ended and the performers came out to take a bow that Phillip emerged onto the stage, sprinting towards the center and waving at the crowd. Anne’s heart skipped a beat. She knew it was him because she recognized his dazzling blue eyes and beautiful smile, even from far away.

The crowd seemed to love him, and he was carrying a single rose towards one of the actresses. He sauntered up next to her, and the young woman accepted the rose. Phillip then wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the lips, much to the delight of the crowd. Anne wanted to sink into the floor. Of course this was his life now, and of course he wouldn’t have room for her in it.

She left the theater as quickly as she could and ran all the way back to her hotel room. Anne was relieved to find W.D. asleep. He woke up briefly to tell her good-night but didn’t notice her tearful expression. She felt like a fool but commended herself for not getting her hopes up too high.

~~~~~~~~~~

“W.D., I’m not so sure about this.”

“C’mon, Anne! This could be our chance to make a name for ourselves in America. I can be closer to Cathy and maybe you’ll find...oh, what’s his name...”

“No, no. That doesn’t matter. I told you, he’s probably not interested in being found.”

“Let’s just audition. The show sounds exciting.”

Anne took the flier back from W.D. “It says that this P.T. Barnum is looking for curiosities. Do you really think we fit that category?”

“Well, what do we have to lose?”

~~~~~~~~~~

And that’s how they ended up in the first ever circus in Manhattan, which gave them the instant notoriety that W.D. was seeking. Of course, that visibility came with a price. For as many fans of the show, there were people who would stage protests outside the circus building, hurling insults at Anne and W.D. and their fellow performers for being different.

The cast became a tight knit unit and a force to be reckoned with. Anne grew especially close to a woman in the show, Lettie Lutz, and admired how she wore her uniqueness with great pride. She confided in Lettie about Phillip, the relationship they once had, and then seeing him with another woman.

“Oh, Anne. If he ever lays eyes on you again, he’ll realize that you’re the one. No one can hold a candle to your beauty.”

“Thanks, Lettie, but I don’t see the point in disrupting his life. He seemed pretty happy.”

“Then why are we still talking about him? Maybe it’s time you moved on.”

Anne realized that Lettie had a point, so for a few weeks, she was trying to work up the courage to find Phillip again and get some closure.

She wouldn’t have expected to ever see him at the Barnum circus. Anne thought her eyes were playing tricks on her when she was swinging from her trapeze and met the gaze of a very familiar man sitting in Barnum’s private box. But it had been Phillip after all, and one look from him told her everything she needed to know.

Now they were together again and going out to have breakfast, like a real couple. Anne knew they may have to face some sneers and taunts and high society types clutching their pearls. She also knew their love was stronger than that kind of intolerance.

Anne had just finished putting in her earrings when she heard a soft knock on the door. Phillip came inside and greeted her with a warm smile and a gentle kiss on the back of her hand. She was able to see him more clearly in the morning light. His face had filled out just a bit, but he still had the same boyish charm she remembered. Anne had half a mind to pull him inside her room and start making up for lost time. He probably wouldn’t have objected, only...

“Good morning. You look beautiful.” Phillip turned towards the sofa where W.D. was watching them closely. “Your brother was kind enough to show me the washroom.”

W.D. cleared his throat. “Good morning, Anne. I was thinking it would be more proper if your gentleman friend went on ahead of you.”

“Oh, W.D.” Anne took Phillip’s hand and led him towards the front door. “I think we’ve been quite proper. Would you like to join us for breakfast?”

“No, thank you. I’ll see you this afternoon for warm-ups.” W.D. got up from the sofa and approached them, stopping next to Phillip and placing a sturdy hand on his shoulder.

“You do right by her, ya hear?”

“I promise I will.”

Anne gave W.D. a look of gratitude mixed with relief and then squeezed Phillip’s hand. “Shall we?”

They were a few stories down when Anne paused and slowly began backing Phillip into the corner of the stairwell. “Kiss me again. I’ve missed you.”

“Anne, maybe your brother had a point about-“

“Maybe...” Except she was already pressing her body into Phillip’s and had her arms wrapped around him, moving her lips softly up the side of his neck.

“Well then...” Phillip pulled her closer, his hands at her waist and his mouth quickly finding hers. “I suppose some proper kissing wouldn’t hurt...”


	15. Chapter 15

Anne had her arm linked with Phillip’s as they headed down the city street. She couldn’t help but be amused by the fact that he was wearing his coattails from the night before. Maybe W.D. could have let him borrow something more casual, but this was better. Phillip knew it too but kept a straight face. “Something funny?”

“No, no. Nothing at all.”

After several blocks of walking, Phillip spotted a trolley car. “Shall we?”

Anne shook her head. “I’d rather walk.” She didn’t want to risk any trouble if the driver wasn’t feeling friendly towards people of color.

They eventually made their way over to the theater district, and almost immediately, Phillip was greeted by a wide variety of passerbys.

“Do you know all of these people?”

“Most of them. But it’s a different crowd in the evenings. A lot of these folks do the writing and acting and stage work for all of the productions. It’s a very creative group. Most of them are visionaries...like Mr. Barnum.”

“Oh, yes. Mr. Barnum. How well do you know him?”

“Mostly by reputation, but I know he has good taste if he hired you.”

Anne smiled and pushed her shoulder affectionately against Phillip. “Will you be there tonight?”

“I go where you go. I mean, as long as I’m not suffocating you...”

“Not yet.” Anne winked at him and smiled. She had missed their banter.

“Barnum wants me to invest in the show, but I wanted to ask you first. It would mean seeing a lot of me, and I’m serious about not wanting to crowd you.”

“Phillip, that’s kind of you to ask me. I can only imagine that if you got involved with the show, we’d all be better off. I trust you, and so long as you don’t try to meddle with my routines or my costumes, we’ll be fine.”

“Okay, good. I’ll try to talk to Barnum this afternoon.”

They had arrived at the restaurant, and Phillip opened the door for Anne. As she stepped inside, Anne noticed that it had a few tables and a large bar area. Everyone who worked there seemed to know Phillip, and they were seated at a cozy table in the corner.

“Good morning, Mr. Carlyle...and guest.” The server seemed friendly enough and placed a carafe of coffee on their table. “Are you an actress, miss?”

Anne blushed at the question. She didn’t want to let on, but going out with Phillip on an actual date was a bit intimidating. “Oh, um...no. But I am a performer of sorts.”

Phillip’s chimed in, patting her hand reassuringly. “She’s a gymnast. Trained in Europe. Anne Wheeler. You’ll be seeing quite a lot of her in here. She’s my sweetheart.”

“Well, you’re both very lucky. I’ll bring you some juice, and the chef will begin preparing his breakfast special for you. Do you want your usual beverage, Mr. Carlyle?”

“No, no thank you. Not today.”

The server nodded and went to check on another table.

“Are you okay, Anne?”

A million thoughts were racing through her mind, and at the same time, her heart was fluttering from the way Phillip had just introduced her.

“Yes, I-I think so. This is just all so new. Not going to a restaurant, per se, but being with you...like this. I know we used to go to the market together before...but this is...different.”

Phillip pulled her hands into his. “I hope you’ll give me a chance to share my life with you. We’re the same as before...and yet, we’re not.”

Anne couldn’t agree more. They had so much catching up to do, and there were so many things she was curious about. Was Phillip through with Harvard for good? Did he have any kind of relationship with his parents? And...perhaps, if she dared, what kind of company had he been keeping? She already knew about the woman from the play. He didn’t owe her an explanation, but she didn’t want to hide anything from him.

“Phillip, I feel like we’ve been given a second chance, so I need to tell you something. I don’t want to keep any secrets from you.”

“Oh?” He looked concerned but waited attentively for her to finish.

“I, um...I saw you in the city before last night. I mean, recently. A few months ago.”

“Why didn’t you...?”

“I’d been trying to find you for a couple of days, actually, when W.D. and I came to Manhattan for that very purpose. And then I happened to be at one of your plays unexpectedly. You were on stage...and you had a rose for one of the actresses. And then you, well...with her...”

It took him a minute, but Phillip figured out what she was alluding to. “Oh, Anne. I’m sorry you had to-“

“No, don’t be. We never made any promises. I don’t think either of us wanted to hold the other one back from living our lives. I just wanted you to know...why I hadn’t come looking for you. I didn’t want to make things harder-“

“I’m glad you told me. Everything seems so clear to me now...what I should have done. I should have gone with you to Germany. Or I should have taken a trip myself to see you or tried to track your family down in Chicago. I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again, but I never stopped loving you...”

“I know. I saw it in your face last night. We both did the best we could.”

Just then, their server arrived with two glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice. “Here you are. I’ll be back soon with your breakfast.”

_“Thank you.”  
“Thanks.”_

They were both quiet for a moment, Phillip drinking the juice, and Anne adding some cream and sugar to her coffee.

“Anne.” Phillip waited until she had looked up from the table. “I want to be honest with you too. I come to this place a lot, mostly because they know me, and I don’t have to put on airs, but also because I’ve been...well, doing some drinking ever since I failed out of Harvard. Whiskey. It’s my “usual.” I let my parents down and myself...and you...”

Anne shook her head. “No, it takes a lot of courage to say what you just told me. Besides, you always said that Harvard was your father’s dream. You just needed to find your own way. And as long as you’ll let me, I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Phillip managed a smile. “That’s supposed to be my line.”

He ran his fingertips along the palm of her hand, weaving his fingers into hers. They were holding each other’s hands, locked in an intense gaze when the server brought their breakfast to the table.

“Anything more for the gentleman and lady?”

“No, nothing for now. Thank you.” Anne nodded in silent agreement.

She started to take a sip of her coffee while Phillip salted his food.

“I picked a great place for a heart-to-heart, didn’t I?

Anne nearly spit her coffee out and then gave Phillip a stern but playful look. “And you picked a fine moment to lighten the mood.”

“I hope you’ll give me another chance soon. Tomorrow’s Sunday, and since that’s usually our day...”

“Something simple then. Just you and me?”

“I think I know a place...”


	16. Chapter 16

“Whoa.” Phillip pulled on the reigns to stop the horse and carriage in front of Anne’s building. He quickly climbed the stairs up to her apartment and knocked on the door. For some reason, he was suddenly nervous, still not quite believing that he’d found her, that they were free to be together.

Anne greeted him with a warm smile and a light kiss. She was wearing a simple but flattering blue dress and a wide brimmed hat. 

“If it please the lady, I’d like to take you for a ride and a picnic...and maybe some star gazing?”

“Sounds perfect. I’ll get my shawl. Shall I bring anything else?”

“No, I have everything we need. Where’s W.D.?”

”He went out for a bit. I told him not to expect me home until later, and he gave me the speech again about being proper.”

”I guess he knows we’re up to no good.”

Phillip winked at her, and Anne took his arm, her side brushing against his and just that little bit of contact still thrilling her to the core. As Phillip accompanied Anne down the stairs, he wondered if she would maul him again, but she seemed nervous herself.

“Ta-da. Our ride.”

“This is so fancy.”

He helped her into the cab portion of the carriage and closed the small door.

“You sit back and relax.”

”Why, thank you, sir.”

Anne smoothed out her skirt and slowly sunk into the plush upholstery. Her body was aching slightly as it always did when Sunday came around. She felt the jolt of the horse taking off and after that, she must have fallen asleep as she opened her eyes to Phillip gently shaking her arm.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, I am.” A yawn escaped from her lips. “I guess I dozed off.”

Phillip laughed and gave Anne a few seconds to get her bearings before helping her out of the cab. “Recognize where we are?”

To anyone else, it would have looked like an ordinary street in the city with people scurrying every which way. To Anne and Phillip, it was the place where their love story began.

”You were so brave, tossing that note to me. Your father would have had both of us horse-whipped if he’d seen you.”

”I knew I couldn’t let a good thing go. I just wish I’d done things a little differently before you left for Germany.”

”Maybe that’s how it was supposed to be. So that we could find our own paths and eventually find each other again.”

”Maybe. Will you walk with me to our rendezvous? I still have the key.”

”I will.”

“And do you remember the way?”

“I believe I do.”

“Let’s walk from here then. May I take your arm?”

”You may.” Anne drew in a deep breath, remembering the fear and exhilaration of the times they’d passed each other along this street and the day that she’d followed him to the warehouse, frustrated by his lack of caution but then quickly won over by his sweet affection for her.

~~~~~~~~~~

The breeze on the rooftop was just cooling enough for Anne to bury herself in Phillip’s embrace as they sat on a blanket and watched the sky gradually transform into a brilliant midnight black, peppered with stars of varying size and shine.

The hours had flown by as they shared adventures from the time they’d been apart, grazing on the picnic that Phillip had prepared, and becoming familiar again with one another, especially the way that their lips seemed to fit perfectly together, both of them trying to show some restraint and eventually agreeing to take things slow and to enjoy getting to know each other again.

“It truly is beautiful up here. The view. And the stars. And no one around for miles to tell us we don’t belong together.”

”Here or anywhere else. Nothing and no one will keep us apart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn’t help that last line. ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading and commenting!


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